Tag: self help

How to Improve Social Intelligence 🤔

Social intelligence is a skill that is decreasing by the day. As technology has progressed, we interact with people less and spend more time alone.

Improving social intelligence is a daunting task, and one might ask if it’s even possible to do so.

The answer is yes, but it’s rather complicated.

Think of social intelligence as a skill that has to be sharpened to be effective.

If you don’t practice and apply the principles consistently in a variety of situations, over time you lose the skill and hence your social intelligence lowers. This is simply because you are less in touch with reality and social dynamics.

Social interaction is what tells us valuable information about ourselves. We can’t be isolated if we want to have strong social skills.

Introverts are going to always need more social practice than extraverts. Unfortunately, we tend to prefer being alone more, but that often causes us to form irrational assumptions about ourselves and others because we aren’t receiving any kind of data or feedback.

So the bottom line is – if you want to improve your life and social skills — start talking to more people every day. Join groups, events, and optimize your social media. Do what you can to make friends and put your shyness aside. End of story.

 

The Truth About “Happiness”…

Ironically, you might actually find when you give, you receive exactly what you need back to be sufficiently and fully happy.

Happiness is not attained from “getting” things, possessing things, or owning things.

Happiness is a light, expansive energy of contribution and engagement with the world.

You might think life needs to be heavy, difficult, a struggle, or painful to achieve your dreams.

You might think you need “discipline” to force yourself to do something unfulfilling just to make money or please others expectations.

This is a lie, and it’s dangerous to believe in.

If you want to be happy, ask yourself: “What can I GIVE others?”

Ironically, you might actually find when you give, you receive exactly what you need back to be sufficiently and fully happy.

However you are best able to serve the universe is exactly what will make you happy.

Share your gifts and talents and the world will be a better place.

“Self – Improvement” is a Myth

Self-improvement is a very socially conditioned ideology in Western society that we like to think will make us happy — but it really doesn’t. You can’t improve who you fundamentally are. You can only accept yourself and all of your internal beauty and move forward with that knowing in life. Chasing external things (relationships, validation, love, the “need to improve”) will not bring you true fulfillment. Because it really does come from within.

Try to not judge yourself so hard. Realize that you are a fundamentally whole being as you are and there is absolutely nothing that needs to be improved about “you”. Let that knowing shine through and life will do what it’s supposed to.

You can develop skills through discipline, and get better at things. But you can’t improve “you” at the core level, so just give up on trying.

When you do come to understand this (and you will know when the time comes) you won’t feel the need to improve who you are. You will do the things you want to do in life and it won’t feel so heavy and forced.

Remember, you’re a whole being as you are. All you need to do is realize this — and go on with your life!

 

Are You Headed in the Right Direction? A Quick Way to Find Out

The best way to determine if you’re heading in the right direction is to gauge how comfortable you are in life.

If you’re cozy, you’re probably not growing or fulfilling your higher potential in life.

I use the word “uncomfortable” deliberately.

Uncomfortable in this context does not mean self-hate, nor does it imply being in a life-threatening situation.

It simply means this:

Are you ACCEPTING challenges, or are you AVOIDING challenges?

Facing adversity is a non-logical paradox. It is a paradox because it is uncomfortable, and us humans will go to great lengths to avoid discomfort. As a result, we basically stay stagnate and live unfulfilling lives.

Unfortunately, nobody ever told you that comfort and discomfort are the same thing. They are both energy. They are both polarities that have the capacity to cause great change in your life if you allow this contradiction to exist and roll with it anyways.

Steven Pressfield calls this feeling “resistance” in his book The War of Art. Resistance is that voice in your head that talks you down, fears judgement, and wants instant gratification. All of which prevent you from THRIVING and CREATING BEAUTIFUL CHANGE in your life and the lives of those around you.

Takeaway:

Read The War of Art. If you’re cozy, start challenging yourself to work hard and face your fears. You WILL adapt, and you will be amazed and intrigued by your capacity to manifest great change in life and how far you’ve come.

P.S. You can’t “think” or “logic” your way into facing your fears. I’m asking you to leap. I’m asking you to absolutely believe in yourself and trust the universe no matter what, before you have proof of anything, that everything will be okay, that everything is happening exactly as it should.

Fear is made of mist and disappears the moment you walk through it.

“Mental Masturbation” is Stopping You from Achieving Greatness

Inspirational content is becoming a drug for many people. It’s over-saturating the digital market and there is absolutely no scarcity of “good” advice out there. It’s at our fingertips and we can dabble in it 24/7 — living a fantasy of how marvelous our lives could be.

Frankly, I would argue self-help has become superficial entertainment for many. It’s no longer “motivating” people to actually do anything progressive. Rather — it’s become yet another form of escapism just like drugs, alcohol, social media, and television are.

It’s a cheap high. A quick way to masturbate your mind for a dopamine spike and artificial epiphany release. “Wow, what a magnificent concept! I feel like a successful, actualized genius” is the feeling people are addicted to.

Even worse, self-help dabbling is deceivingly “healthy”  because it’s pseudo-intellectual. 

I’m here to shatter that paradigm and declare self-help is a total waste of time and mental energy if we don’t practically integrate such advice into our lives.

We can learn all concepts and theories we want, but if we don’t do anything with the information, it’s totally useless. Desensitizing our brains to content intended for pragmatic use is digging deeper into fantasy and further from reality.

What happens by over-fantasizing, is we tend to place too much emphasis on external happiness and need, and can’t find happiness within ourselves. 

Self-help works when an individual is at the cause of their actions, not the effect of their environment. Next article I will explain Cause vs. Effect and how to tell which side you may be operating in.

The Shortcut Economy

People want unrealistic shortcuts to success. They don’t care enough to embrace the process of hard work and self discovery.

This lends itself to bullshit answers being fed to bullshit people. Our culture thrives on pure bullshit.

Life is a dance you get better at by DOING. There is no “shortcut” “tip” or “tactic” to success.

Whatever advice somebody gives you is just what works for them. Use it as a guideline, but not ultimatum. Sure, guidelines are important (so is keeping an OPEN MIND and being able to receive feedback). But MANY things in life nobody has the answer to, and you will have to find that out yourself through reference experiences.

You are your own authority. The road is clear. Stop hiding. Go make what you care about happen.